The Difference Between Easter and Xmas
The Difference Between Easter and Xmas
(for those who are anywhere from slightly to not at all Christian)
*WARNING* If you feel yourself to be highly Christian and are easily offended by people who innocently joke about the two of the most important holidays in Christianity, you may want to skip this post. Please save your negative venting posts for Facebook (which I rarely visit) and not here. I seriously mean no offense. Besides, doesn’t God have a sense of humor about godless heathens who are going to burn in hell anyway?*
So, my sexy nurse and I were spending this past holiday weekend as a romantic getaway because Monday is our 19th anniversary as a couple. We were having a lovely Easter brunch at a Jewish deli, and for whatever reason, I was pondering the difference between Easter and Christmas for non-Christians. I mean, living in the United States, you’d have to also be living under a rock to not know that Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ and Easter celebrates His resurrection, BUT aside from that, what is it like to experience these holidays in the U.S. when you are not partaking in them the way the church intended? And what is the difference? Is one holiday more fun than the other?
I’ll start with the obvious one: the places closed for business. So unless you work at a drug store, you most likely get both days off work or school. (One point for both holidays) However, there are far more businesses closed on Christmas than Easter. In the cases of both holidays the movie theatre, Chinese restaurants, and the fore-mentioned drug stores remain opened, but on Easter, lots more restaurants are open as well as 24-hour superstores. So, unless you work at one of those businesses, there is more stuff to do and places to go on Easter. (One point for Easter)
Now, one of the best parts of the holiday season in December is PRESENTS. I know it has long been a complaint of some that Christmas has become over-commercialized and lost its meaning due to this aspect, but if you don’t have strong ties to that particular religion, IT IS AWESOME. If you are atheist or agnostic, you probably exchange gifts anyway, and if you are of some other religion entirely you probably either get: A) presents from friends/co-workers who do celebrate the holiday, B) you exchange gifts in celebration of another holiday such as Hanukkah or Kwanza, C) a Christmas bonus at work, or for the luckiest folks of all D) all of the above. You get nothing of the sort on Easter. (Point for Christmas)
Time for the last category of my rant: CANDY!! So, now that both Easter and Christmas are neck and neck, this one will be the tiebreaker. Christmas candy is a staple you can find in the stores every year. There are solid chocolates in the shape of trees, Santas, and snowmen. Candy canes and peppermint sticks serve as both food and decoration (I severely dislike these). Reese’s also makes a peanut butter filled chocolate tree, which for a purist like me is kinda small and the peanut butter tastes a little less rich. It’s also traditionally stuffed inside a sock (yuck).
Easter candy has its share of chocolate shaped characters such as rabbits and eggs. There are Peeps (which are more fun to squish than eat), jellybeans (which are good when they come in a flavor that you like), and those hard-shelled malted chocolate eggs (which totally make me gag). Most importantly, there are two candy eggs which chocolate enthusiasts spend the year waiting for: the Reese’s Peanut Butter Egg and the Cadbury Creme Egg. I don’t know why, but the peanut butter in the Reese’s egg tastes better than the trees, hearts, or usual cups. Also, they appear to be larger, but that may be an optical illusion caused by the voluptuousness of the egg shape (Sometimes, if you are very, very lucky, you can find a peanut butter filled chocolate confection roughly the size of an ostrich egg😋). The Cadbury Egg is an all or nothing treat, as in you either love them (like me!) or hate them (like sexy nurse). Most importantly, if you love them, they have no counterpart in most other holidays like the Reese's,** so they are a seasonal delicacy. Some of us even buy them up in bulk the day after Easter and store them in the freezer.*** For myself, I give the candy point to Easter for these two candies alone.
What’s the score? Christmas – 2, Easter – 3… So, Easter is the better holiday for the non-Christians!**** Yay! Did I forget a category that you think carries weight in this argument? Do you like Christmas candy better than Easter candy? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
*I think that if/when I go to hell, I won’t mind the heat, as I prefer hot instead of cold. You see, I’m always freezing to death due to complete lack of muscle mass, so that is actually one problem that hellfire would solve. And all that heat like a sauna would make me lose weight or the hot lava would melt the fat away. I get to be skinny in hell. Hell yeah! UNLESS they have a special icebox in hell reserved for people like me. I’d be locked inside this giant freezer, and be forced to spend the afterlife in an igloo in subzero temperatures, and my pee would freeze on the way out. Ouch! You get that? My true hell would have zero flames and the devil would be a cruel ice wizard and there would be demonic penguins with laser eyes and sharp talons feasting on my guts every day. People in my personal hell don't want ice water; they want a flame thrower.
**Once or twice, I have come across a Cadbury Scream Egg during the Halloween season. I don’t count this because where I come from, these particular eggs are more rare than Sasquatch sightings and also because the crème inside doesn’t taste as good. Maybe it's the green food coloring? I dunno.
***DON’T JUDGE ME FOR THIS! As a usually fat chick, I have to have a small candy stash of rare treats to ease my pain on the bad days. JEEZ! I’m not the only one who does this. Celebrities do it too, so just lay off!!
****I am the one writing this post, so I get to be the judge. End of story.
Comments
Post a Comment