With Great Outfits Come Great Responsibility*

         So, the sexy nurse took me out for an amazing Saturday filled with fancy seafood restaurants, the latest Marvel movie, and a kitty café.  And of course, sexy nurse had to work in a stop to the local comic book shop**. On our way out of the shop, I notice the most amazing thing hanging on the wall:

 

         For those of you not in the know, that is a picture of a Wonder Woman cape (DC comics, not Marvel).  I was intrigued from the moment I saw it.   I reached out my hand, and slipped my fingers beneath the plastic bag to gently caress the silky polyester fabric.  A thrill crept its way from my fingertips, up my arms and shoulders, and down through my spine.  That’s when I knew with a great certainty, more sure than my love of cats, that if given the opportunity I would wear this cape.

         I already dress like a bit of a nut, so what would it hurt to throw on a superhero cape, right?  It would be perfect for all of my sleeveless outfits.***  But upon further thought, I began to fantasize about what kind of superhero I could be in my day to day life if I took on the responsibility by dressing like one.****

          Enter, The Sensational Weirdo…

         Imagine a strange, tall, chubby lady with purple hair wearing a bejeweled lace half mask and a Wonder Woman cape.  Now imagine this caped oddball dramatically sneaking up on grumpy old people reading the gloomiest newspaper ever at the library.  She tears the offending periodical away, reaches inside her cape, and then dowses the somber senior with a handful of glitter.

         “Ĉielarkoj, katidoj kaj sunbrilo!*****” she would shout.

         Then magically, this library patron would begin to smile and laugh with pure joy, just as they used to when they were a child.  The Sensational Weirdo would giggle with her success.

“Stranga sed brilega,******” she bids to the spectators, and skips off into the employee break room.

         Back in reality, my thoughts began to clear. In America, if some well-meaning citizen assaults another citizen with glitter, then the first citizen will most likely be sued by the second for the rest of her life’s wages working part-time at the library.  I look at the price tag on the Wonder Woman cape, which reads $25.99.  I shrug my shoulders and exit the comic book store.

         Have you ever considered what type of superhero you might be in an alternate reality?  I’d love to hear about it in the comments below!

*That’s a paraphrasing of the famous line from Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility.”  Well said, Uncle Ben.  Well said.

**The sexy nurse grew up on a steady diet of comic books.  SN no longer reads them, but now likes to shop for memorabilia.  I do not mind so much, since most comic book stores also have a manga/anime section.

***I have always been uncomfortable with showing my bare upper arms since high school.  In hindsight, I didn’t look so bad in HS, but they have always been disproportionally large and jiggly.  There was this one time when a guy actually thought it was muscle. *snort*  Nice.  So anyhow, I wear a lot of cardigans and cover-ups because of my own discomfort showing my upper arms.  Good thing I work in a library.

****On a whim, I just now went to a superhero name generator on Quizopolis.com, and putting in my real name it actually said I would be called The Sensational Weirdo!  If that doesn’t sound like another way of saying “weird, but sparkly,” then my name’s not (censored).  If I enter Jupiter Sixx, it says I should be called  “The Invincible Inferno.”  If only pseudonyms could make us all invincible.

*****That’s Esperanto for “Rainbows, kittens, and sunshine,” or at least that’s what Google Translate says.  Esperanto is the international language, created by Dr. Esperanto in the hopes of being an easy second language for the whole world to speak.  If you are completely bored, you can watch the 1966 movie called Incubus, staring William Shatner, which is filmed entirely in Esperanto.  It is an awful movie, but the trailer is pretty funny to watch.

******Dr. Google says that is Esperanto for “weird but sparkly.”