OLC #4: Dear Nicolas Cage



Open Letter to Celebrities #4

Dear Nicolas Cage,

Hey there, Nicholas!  I just got done watching you in the Into the Spider-verse movie, and I must say BRAVO!  You totally nailed the part of Spider-Man Noir.  Admittedly, I have never been a fan in the past.  I blame it on an old college friend who wrote a story called “Nicholas Cage Sucks,” and she pointed out that your acting style can be a little over the top.* That may be true, but for the sake of animated features, it totally works.  I am going to IMDB right after I get done with this to see if you have any other animated movies that I don’t know about.  
Also, have you ever thought of Broadway?  I would love to see you playing lead in Evil Dead the Musical or The Book of Mormon, but especially that first one.  If anyone besides Bruce Campbell could deliver that line “Hail to the king, baby,” it would have to be you.  Especially if you could do that lip curl/eyebrow lift thing that you do in all of your other movies, though it would actually work in this movie.  OOH!  If they could turn Evil Dead the Musical into an animated movie, that would be AMAZING!  You could totally make that happen.  OH!  Another great idea, you should star in a stage version or movie remake of Bubba Ho-Tep!  Maybe they could get Dave Chappelle or Morgan Freeman to play the part of Jack?  That would be an amazing adult cartoon too.
Seriously, you should think about it.  You could do an animated series on Netflix like Bojack Horseman, except good.** I would totally get my entire blog following (which is 0 as of today) behind it and watch it regularly myself.  I hope to see you someday on the small screen.
         
Thanks for being so ridiculous***,
Jupiter Sixx

P.S.
My mom thought you were awesome in Moonstruck.  I still haven’t seen it though, so I have to reserve judgment.

*Somehow, I honestly hadn’t noticed until she pointed it out.  I just knew that I severely disliked Valley Girl, Peggy Sue Got Married, and City of Angels (Maybe we could blame that last one on Meg Ryan… Nope, it was definitely your character).  I have always liked 8MM, though I could never bring myself to watch it a second time.

**I tried time and again to get into it, but Bojack Horseman just sucks so bad that not even Amy Sedaris could save that turkey.  And yet, it just keeps coming back every season like a bad case of herpes.  You could make such a better animated adult show than this.

***Takes one to know one, am I right? 😉😁

Comments

  1. Okay, Little Looora! We will watch Moonstruck🌛 together the next time you come over. I am not a Cage fan or a Cher fan but it is a nice ethnic movie. Cher was good, also in Mask.👺 And, If you have not seen that movie, I will put that on the list to see, also.

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